Whether it’s coincidental or not, I feel like every Wrestlemania Season™ I always find some excuse to contemplate and write about the value of all of the WWE championships. Maybe it’s because Wrestlemania is the culmination of the year’s stories and scripts, and it’s theoretically where everything comes to a boil, and the chips are all put on the table so that things can be settled, and things can be sown for the year after, but the bottom line is that everything is on the line, and the paths into the future become clearer for all the important players.
The thing is, the WWE has done a lot of things and integrated some plot devices that have taken their own shapes, and manifested into tangible things that are on par with championships, if not competitive in value with the coveted belts that superstars wish to hold. Be them briefcases, winning streaks, or the ironically self-aware rights to face certain superstars or even simply get to point at signs, there are things that exist in the WWE Universe™ that have become as valuable, if not more, than the litany of belts available in the company today.
And above all of the belts, briefcases and signs stands a streak, the one currently ongoing with Asuka, who hasn’t lost a single match since arriving with the company in 2015. Sure, wrestling is scripted and the finishes all predetermined, but it still takes a tremendous amount of work to get people to like and care about you to where a promoter sees the value of keeping that character completely undefeated for ongoing three years straight.
It goes without saying that Asuka’s streak is the most valuable commodity in the WWE today. I know they’re really trying to make it look like she’s going to run into some massive resistance at Wrestlemania when she takes on Charlotte Flair in a proverbial Championship vs. Streak match, but I would wager money that Asuka wins regardless, and then the streak has a belt as well, increasing its overall value further.
And Asuka has worked her ass off over the last three years and making the streak mean something, first by dominating NXT, and missing out on the first wave of superstar callups, solely based on the fact that she was carrying the developmental league and couldn’t be promoted without a suitable cache of replacements in place, before showing up to the main roster and continuing her stellar work rate with a wider variety of female opponents.
Furthermore, streaks in general are things that require a lot of time and patience to culture, and in an industry where patience is scant and knee-jerk reactions are commonplace, successfully developing one and keeping the company’s faith to maintain it are extremely rare things. Consider the fact that Goldberg’s 162-0 streak was snapped nearly 20 years ago, and up until now hasn’t seen anything remotely close in storyline to remember the importance of an undefeated streak; and many former guys in the industry even regret breaking it then, because there’s no limit to how valuable a streak can get, because the longer it goes unbroken, the more meaning it has when it actually does.
Ironically, my biggest concern is that the WWE will eventually hit a wall of what they could possibly do with Asuka, and eventually run out of competitors. Women’s wrestling has been growing rapidly, but it’s still staggering behind the men’s side, and there will come a point where viable challengers to break the streak will either be girls Asuka has already defeated time and time again already, or worse off, it’s going to go to some tourist like Ronda Rousey. If the streak becomes too grandiose, it stops being a matter of trying to execute a suitable end to it, but the difficulty of building up a woman worthy of doing it.
But let’s cross that bridge when the time comes. Frankly, I hope the streak doesn’t ever end, even if it means that the blue women’s championship becomes worthless in the sense that there’s almost never any chance Asuka drops it, because if there’s just one thing that I still enjoy in a fake sport geared to kids, it’s Asuka’s streak.
And the rest of the rankings:
Pointing at the Wrestlemania sign – when John Cena declared that pointing at the sign was a right, it immortalized the act as a legitimate commodity of value. Heath Slater doesn’t get to point at the sign. Titus O’Neil doesn’t get to point at the sign. And as much as it chaps my ass, Rusev doesn’t get to point at the sign, regardless of how ironically over Rusev Day has become. Yes, pointing at the sign is a right that solely belongs to those who are in the favor of management, and those who are currently in the blueprints of the machine for having any sort of success. The right to point at the Wrestlemania sign has become among one of the most valuable honors in the locker room, and has taken more meaning than the right to contend for belts.
Getting to face the Undertaker – Regardless of if it happens or not, but most signs are pointing to yes, the simple fact that his name is even making it on television, and his presence at Wrestlemania is being talked about, suddenly, all the belts have been forgotten. The year CM Punk faced the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, he publicly buried all championships on television by proclaiming his (then unbroken) streak was more valuable than any championship opportunity, but that wasn’t that much of a surprise because it was CM Punk, and CM Punk as a heel at the time. But John Cena basically doing the same thing? On the heels of missing all opportunities to vie for a 17th World title, he scrambles and basically insinuates aiming for something bigger than a World title, in the form of getting to face the Undertaker?
If not for the fact that the Undertaker’s streak has long since been broken, at a misfigured 23-2, this would hold more value. But for all intents and purposes, I’m going to assume he shows up, and I’d have to say Undertaker wins, even against a cyborg like John Cena, because I don’t think there’s any way Mean Mark loses two in a row, and if anyone’s going to give Taker his final victory, it has to be an icon like John Cena.
WWE World Championship (c. AJ Styles) – the irony is that this is clearly the unofficial work rate world championship, but is also on the obvious B-show, Smackdown. Regardless, it’s in the hands of a guy who legitimately deserves it with his stellar work, and ability to have good matches with just about anyone from Brock Lesnar, John Cena, Kevin Owens to even Jinder Mahal. And despite the fact that the Wrestlemania card is more bloated than a beached whale, the AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura match for the World title is one of the ones that just about every genuine wrestling fan is pinning all their hopes on.
WWE Intercontinental Championship (c. the Miz) – where AJ Styles puts the World title on the map for his in-ring work, the Miz puts the Intercontinental title on the map for his out-of-the-ring classic heel work. Say what you want about the Miz, that he’s a mediocre wrestler, he’s too safe, and other perceived pejoratives, but it’s hard to deny that the Intercontinental belt hasn’t been more desirable than it is now, solely because the kids really want to see the annoying, sniveling, cowardly heel get his ass kicked and be stripped of it.
It’s not a popular opinion among marks, but the Miz has been an integral performer over the last 10+ years, and although he’s no Chris Jericho, he’s demonstrated a tremendous talent of reinventing himself and the capability to run in a wide variety of characters and personas. He’ll very likely lose the title at Wrestlemania to Seth Rollins or Finn Balor, but whomever wins it can profusely thank the Miz for making the belt actually mean something again.
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship (c. the Usos) – Despite the fact that the WWE perceives tag team wrestling of secondary importance, the Usos and the New Day have made it their personal mission to make the Smackdown Tag belts mean something. Their series of matches throughout the 2017-2018 wrestling year over the belts have been nothing short of clinics, and it’s always a treat to see when opponents have magical chemistry and it translates seamlessly in the ring. I’m not enthused with the Bludgeon Brothers being integrated into their program, but given the fact that Luke Harper and Erick Rowan can actually work, I’m hoping they’ll be as successful as the Dudleys were, inserting themselves into the Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boyz feud.
WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship (c. Charlotte Flair) – no disrespect to Charlotte, but the placement of his belt on my list is almost solely based on the simple fact that Asuka wants it. Charlotte is undoubtedly top-tier of the women’s division, but she’s kind of been wasted over the last few months with a feud with the green Riott Squad, and no participation in the Royal Rumble, bringing the value of the belt down in the process. If not for the fact that Asuka has set her sights on the Charlotte’s belt and not Alexa Bliss’s, this would undoubtedly be lower on the list.
Women’s Money in the Bank Briefcase (Carmella) – as much as Asuka’s want for the blue belt raises its value, it also passively raises the value of the first-ever™ Women’s Money in the Bank briefcase. And the reason why this has as much value as it does now, is simply the fact that Carmella still hasn’t cashed in the proverbial creative reset button, mostly because the women’s storylines are seemingly better buttoned up than the men’s, plus the fact that Carmella is still kind of green in the ring herself. But due to the simple fact that the expiration date on the MITB briefcase is now ticking down, and that it has to be used, it makes it more interesting as the expiry approaches. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Carmella cash it in at Wrestlemania, but likely on the Women’s Red belt, since there’s no way in hell creative would let Carmella be the one to dethrone Asuka.
WWE RAW Women’s Championship (c. Alexa Bliss) – As much as I lust over like Alexa Bliss, she too has kind of been wasted during the duration of her current championship run. It’s ironic because Charlotte was having good matches on RAW, and Bliss was having good matches on Smackdown, but once switched over, both have stagnated since. This would have fallen further down if not for Alexa’s defense of the title in the first ever™ Women’s Elimination Chamber match, and had Asuka chosen the red belt to pursue, this would have been raised up. But instead, Alexa is doomed to a mediocre match at Wrestlemania, where I predict she’ll escape with a narrow cheap victory against Nia Jax with the help of Mickie James, but then get obliterated by Jax afterward, where a prone Bliss will then get pinned by Carmella who cashes in at seeing the sudden opportunity.
NXT Championship (c. Andrade “Cien” Almas) – given what I knew about Andrade “Cien” Almas’ career before joining the WWE, I kind of knew that putting the NXT belt on him was a great thing, while taking it off of formulaic wrestlers like Bobby Roode and Drew McIntyre. It’s getting to a point where only those who have paid some dues in Japan should be the only ones worthy to hold the NXT championship, and I would still wager money that the Cien vs. Johnny Gargano match at TakeOver:Philadelphia is going to be a serious contender for Match of the Year™, even though the first quarter has yet to finish. That being said, I’m hoping Cien retains over Aleister Black, because I frankly don’t think he’s ready to carry just yet, and I feel Cien would be wasted on the main roster.
NXT WWE United Kingdom Championship (c. Pete Dunne) – I’ll admit I’ve never been familiar with wrestling from the UK, and given my first impressions of the British invasion were small statured guys like Tyler Bate, Pete Dunne and Jack Gallagher, or fat embarrassments like Trent Seven, I never really thought the UK Championship really meant anything. But over the last year, the Dunne/Bate matches have torn every house they’ve been in down, and Dunne has subsequently quietly been having some stellar matches with non-UK compatriots like Johnny Gargano, Roderick Strong and Adam Cole to fortify his body of work. I now look forward to seeing guys like Dunne and Bate on television, and the UK title now seems like it’s actually worth something.
WWE RAW Tag Team Championship (c. Cesaro/Sheamus) – Normally, I’d say that this title is doomed, because it’s very likely going to be won by one man at Wrestlemania, when Braun Strowman squashes Cesaro and Sheamus. But the fan in me is excited at the opportunities a single tag team champion will do for storylines, and the hopes that Cesaro will be freed from the shackles of carrying Sheamus and actually go singles again. However, it is kind of an insult to the titles themselves that one man is going to be better than a two man team, and not even all of the hard work that Cesaro and Sheamus have put into making them somewhat respectable, this impending squash job is going to ruin all of its credibility.
WWE United States Championship (c. Randy Orton) – the thing about the US title is that it’s relevant and it’s defended, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s still not enough for it to be any more valuable than anything over it. A part of it is that it’s changing hands a little too frequently, having been held by seven different guys over the last calendar year, and the ultimate insult, having been voluntarily vacated at one point, by a Dolph Ziggler who took all of two seconds off, killing a potentially good storyline. Marks wouldn’t want to admit it, but the last time this belt had any real clout was when John Cena held it and ran the US Open Challenge, and had great matches with all comers, every week. If only such a thing became a requirement of the belt, like Crash Holly’s hardcore rules became a permanent thing with the Hardcore title, this belt would instantly regain value in a heartbeat.
WWE Universal Championship (c. Brock Lesnar) – I kind of get the whole mentality of keeping the belt on Brock because anytime he does defend it, it’s a major event, but frankly it has to be defended just a little bit more than this for that to work, and against anyone other than Braun Strowman. Despite the fact that it classifies as a World championship, it’s now a literal non-existent title that has no real meaning, and it desperately needs to be put in the hands of an actual WWE regular for it to have any chance of becoming a viable achievement again.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship (c. ??????) – Who’s the current Cruiserweight champion? I don’t even feel like Googling it, despite the fact that I’ve googled at least 6-7 other things in the span of writing this post to fact-check myself. That’s how irrelevant this title is now, and why it’s a shame Enzo Amore was the shitbag sexual deviant he looked like, because he actually was bringing a little bit of interest back to the entire division that would be killing it, if it were 1998.
Men’s Money in the Bank Briefcase (F. Baron Corbin) – other than his size, I don’t think I’ll ever see what the WWE sees in Baron Corbin. Winner of an Andre the Giant Battle Royale and a MITB, and constantly thrust into main event and high-profile feuds, he’s basically the Roman Reigns of Smackdown, but doesn’t draw a fraction of the vitriol than Roman gets. Probably because he has no mic skills, no charisma, and an extremely limited arsenal. But he’s big in stature and Vince McMahon has a notorious hard-on for big guys, so he’ll continue to be forced down our throats. But much like his career, he wasted the MITB, and hopefully someone better will capitalize on it next year.
