Better update my will: relative to the giant Asian murder-death-kill hornet discovered in Georgia
I like how the news is trying to low-key downplay the nightmare scenario we’re about to embark on by saying that it’s just the relative to the Asian genocide hornet, the yellow-legged hornet. It’s kind of like saying Hitler’s brother who also hates Jews has shown up, but it’s okay because it’s not Adolf.
Make no mistake, if the yellow-legged hornets have already made it to Georgia, it’s either a matter of time, or they haven’t yet been sighted, that the actual Nazi Axis of Evil hornets are going to be here eventually. Like the old African killer bees, or even COVID for that matter, in the world we live in, once something becomes a problem in one place, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes a problem globally.
“The plan will begin with trapping, and APHIS and GDA will set out traps and survey for this pest to determine if additional yellow-legged hornets are in the area,” a release said. “If a colony is discovered through reporting, trapping, or tracking, the colony will be eradicated.
Begin with trapping? How about begin with eradicating? I know science is all about exploration and learning, but we’re dealing with a species of bug that is related to legitimate murderers that can dissolve human flesh with their stings. We’re talking about like, poison frog darts that can think on their own, fly, strategize, organize and dominate, and we’ve got fucking scientists wanting to study this bullshit? Oh no, not the smartest move here, that’s some Netflix Resident Evil Jade Wesker-level dumbass decision making.
Like why wait until a colony is discovered before deciding to pull some fucking triggers? Fuck up the hornets on an individual basis, and hope that if their cohorts are around, they saw what happened, and report back to the colony that rednecks in Georgia are not to be fucked around with. And then email or text their big ass cousins and tell them to stay away from America lest they get fucked up too, and hope it does its job at deterring the actual Hitler hornets from coming stateside; if they already aren’t here yet.
Which I’m pretty sure they are, because I went down a little bit of a rabbit hole, and it sounds like actual BMF hornets have been found in the Pacific-Northwest, which means after they colonize in some bag of Sumatran coffee beans in the Starbucks factory, they’re a FedEx plane from being shipped all over the country so they can begin their domination of the West, before polishing off the rest of the world.
All the same, looks like we’re all fooked boys and girls.
