Tag: parking

The most obvious of “I give up on life” cars

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s funny whenever I think about cars that belong in the I give up on life category, Saturns never really crossed my mind.  But in a way, it’s fittingly appropriate in several ways; one, because Saturns are the most forgettable car manufacturer in history, and two, Saturn as a car company is dead, and has been dead for going on three years now.  Unfortunately, three years isn’t enough time to wipe them from existence as their turds on wheels are still being capably driven on roads across America as we speak.

Saturn was essentially a joint venture between General Motors and Rubbermaid (not actually true) that put out mediocre plastic (mostly) cars that were cheap to buy, cheaper to maintain, and supposedly cheap to repair when necessary (often, being a GM), in exchange for your dignity (factually accurate).  But after twenty years of sucking souls, Liu Kang and the automotive industry had enough of Saturn Tsung’s soul-sucking tendencies and putting an end to the Saturn brand, hopefully for good.

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Plant jizz, everywhere

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

My car is literally green now.  It was way worse in the morning.  I’ve washed all the windows in hopes of tempting Mother Nature karma and triggering some cleansing rain to wash my car before I can wash my car, but I have a feeling it’s not going to work.

It’s 84 fucking degrees in March with pollen counts shattering records.  I fear that this is the summer where it begins to average 102F temperatures, while gas floats around $4 a gallon for months.  I’d snidely say what a great time it is to be alive, but for the current, I actually am not feeling that pessimistic yet.

It may be God’s Property

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

But it’s still illegally parked and in the fucking way.

Saw this shit recently while I was trying to do some work.  In the midst of the slow holiday period, I volunteered to do some grunt work, to look like a good team player.  The company was going to haul some furniture in from their warehouses, delivered in one of their company trucks.  It was cold and windy outside, even in the storage bay.  But for whatever reason, God’s Property here saw it fit to illegally park, block the company truck, and deliver some shitty catering to one of the other companies in the building, while myself and several other grunt workers were forced to wait for them to emerge.

Needless to say, the time spent waiting, even the most religious of saints was cursing God’s Property for wasting all our time.

Miami and I seem to be incompatible

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Disclaimer: This rant was originally written at close to 4:00 a.m., before I went to bed after my first day in Miami, Florida.

I don’t want to jump the gun here too much, and the truth is that I am having a good time down here in Miami so far. I should really be asleep, since I have to be up in less than five hours to ensure that my rental car isn’t ticketed for when the parking lot goes from free parking, into pay parking for the prime parts of the beach days, but I’ve got a lot on my mind about my experiences in the city of Miami so far, and I’d like to get them in writing while they’re still fresh on my mind.

In short, Miami is no doubt a lively, bustling city, but the truth is that this is most absolutely definitely certainly not a place I’d ever want to fathom living. In my opinion, Miami sucks, and I’m not going to miss this place one bit when my trip is over.  Some of my favorite shows like Dexter and Nip/Tuck may take place here, but damn if those shows do a fantastic job of making this place look a whole hell of a lot better than the cesspool that I’m finding this place to be.

Now part of it can be my fault for taking the same cost-effective approach I take on my of my other baseball road trips, but the truth is that such an approach has yielded some genuinely good results in the past.  It’s just this approach in Miami has me led to believe that this is possibly one of the worst places in the country.

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Once is a misunderstanding, twice you’re being obtuse

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

For lack of a better term, I’m a creature of habit. I have a morning routine.  I brush my teeth and groom myself in the same order every day.  I drink my coffee the same way. And I like to park in the same place everyday.

I don’t understand people sometimes. I took psych classes early in college, and I thought I had a good grasp of things, but obviously, that’s full of shit. Why people do the things they do is completely beyond me; this is implying that I’m giving the benefit of doubt to thinking people have to notice their surroundings, especially after it’s been the norm for several months. Even people with disorder-like short-term memory absorb shit after enough repetition, or so like that shitty Adam Sandler movie leads us to believe.

So today’s rant is simply about the fact that at Dykeland, someone keeps hoisting my routine parking space, and I don’t really know why.

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