Bad Movie Review: King of the Fighters: The Legend of Mai Shiranui (2010)

I tend to fall behind movie releases very easily, so when I get really bored, I literally comb through individual weeks, and see what’s been released, so I can procure new material to watch when I’m bored, which is a lot. During my last perusing of movies that I likely missed, one particular title caught my attention: King of the Fighters.

Admittedly, in the video game world, I prefer Street Fighter over KOF like people prefer a filet mignon over a Big Mac, but for what it’s worth, I’ve been admittedly entertained by SNK’s bastard retarded attempt at a fighting game franchise before. Long story short, upon learning that it was directed by Gordon Chan (Typical HK director) I knew what I was getting myself into, but I decided to watch it anyway.

Fucking Hong Kong directors – they pretty much always find a way to ruin any existing properties, and it should come as no surprise to anyone, that King of the Fighters was a piece of garbage. However, the bigger question is, how does it fare to Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li?

It’s not really called King of the Fighters: The Legend of Mai Shiranui, but it very well may have been, considering Mai Shiranui was the main character / focal point of the movie, much like the last abomination of a Street Fighter flick was. Besides, calling it that made it so much more appropriate to pit and compare the two bad movies together.

Both movies are epically bad, but which is worse? Only one way to figure it out; aspect breakdown.

Maggie Q(uigley) as Mai Shiranui vs. Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li

As a once-fan of Smallville, I certainly found Lana attractive. But admittedly, I still found Chloe (Allison Mack) more my cup of tea. That being said, despite my aversion to Asian women in general, I’ve often thought that Maggie Q was pretty damned sexy, and despite the unoriginal thought, always found Mai Shiranui more appealing than Chun-Li. Point goes to KOF:LoMS

Ray Park as Rugal vs. Neil McDonough as M. Bison

I’d have imagined Park’s career to have been much better than what it’s turned out to be, considering the guy was Darth Maul, but then I remembered that nobody really gave a shit about the actor who played Darth Vader either, and Darth Maul was a lame character anyway. Either way, Rugal was pretty fucking lame in the movie, but at least he’s a trained and convincing martial artist in his own right. Neil McDonough as M. Bison was horrendous. Point goes to KOF:LoMS.

Will Yun Lee as Iori Yagami and Sean Faris as Kyo Kusanagi vs. Robin Shou as Liu KangGen

I didn’t really have a problem with Lee playing the part of Iori, despite the fact that I always though Iori was a stupid character, and was baffled to as why so many people liked him so much, to the point where he was such a popular character to dress up as at all the conventions I used to go to. My biggest beef was obviously with whitey in the middle, who was supposed to play a guy named “Kyo Kusanagi,” and not something like “Ethan Walsh.” Seriously, they expected the audience to believe that he really was the kid to an Asian guy named Kusanagi, and not the milkman’s kid? Either way, neither of these two jobbers can lick the sweat off of Liu Kang’s balls. Point goes to SF:LoCL.

Bernice Liu as Vice, Monique Ganderton as Mature vs. The Guy from the Black Eyed Peas as Vega

Both movies had their jobber(s). But this is a tough one. Vice and Mature certainly get their asses handed to them on a silver platter, but it happens several times throughout the flick, and to their credit, they get their licks in as well a few times. But Vega, he was built up to be this merciless, ruthless killing assassin, and midway through the movie, when his role was called up, he came, he stalked, and then got his ass beat in like 12 seconds. So it’s frequency of ass-kickings, or the lack of ass-kicking, because the one was so efficient and fast. Fuck it – point goes to SF:LoCL.

David Leitch as Terry Bogard vs. Chris Klein as Nash

And bringing up the rear are the “pure wrongs” of both movies. Chris Klein as Nash was pretty pointless, useless, and very much unnecessary, but he has nothing on the rendition of “Terry Bogard,” that KOF tried to pawn off. Terry Bogard is young-ish, rugged, and can actually fight. David Leitch’s rendition of Terry Bogard was like a 44-year old, smart-mouthed, wise-cracking CIA agent. Throughout the film, he got beat up by the jobbers, Vice and Mature, and also got beat up by several homeless people. Point goes to SF:LoCL.

In conclusion:

I can count, and it may seem like it, but in reality, no movie is worse than Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. King of the Fighters: The Legend of Mai Shiranui was pretty crappy, and even with it’s shitty HK direction, and convoluted storyline involving fighting in alternate dimensions via Bluetooth headsets, I think what it really had going for it is was that it actually had pretty good fight sequences, and people who actually made it look halfway passable.

Either way, spare yourselves the waste of time and avoid both movies if possible. A cranberry vodka or a Four Loko is a better use of time.

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